Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Eat my shit, Robertson Davies

Hello, and welcome to the world of Fifth Business. The book which is inexplicably chosen as "essential" reading for the Grade 11s of Lorne Park. All I want to know is WHY?
Why, Roberston Davies, why must you write a book that is not a book?
There is no conflict, there is no drama, there is no excitement. Hell, the "murder" we were promised came at the last 3 pages of the book, and the "mystery" was non existent! Why write a book with a fictional man who lives a mundane life, not including his bizarre saint addiction, and world travels. Hell, he's not even traveling for the fun of traveling, he is traveling to fuel his saint addiction. Plus, he is not even a likable man. He has no real compassion or any other feeling for others. He's only nice to the retarded Ms. Dempster because he thinks he has to be. His best friend is a tool, and he doesn't pick up any interesting friends along the way either. He makes no meaningful friends along the way, and methinks if he died, no one would miss him that much.
Secondly: WHY English Department? Why this atrocity of a book?
Sure, it was good reading. Once. The writing gives people headaches, it's largely redundant, and past section 3, the book stops making any sense. So why make us read it and analyze the poor thing?

What I'm saying here is let us read the old school books that everyone else reads. At least then, we can use Sparknotes.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

New Years

Hello 2009!
Except, it already feels like 2009 because of all the advertising for "new" 2009 cars.
What, are these cars from the future or something?
In any case: Good bye to the one and only 2008. Unless we start counting from some other calendar.

My resolution?
I don't have one.
Id say I want to get "better" but I'm not really sure what "better" entails.
So I'll just say this. I resolve to be more exciting.

Not to mention I already have a huge list I need to complete before the end of the 2010 school year.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Greetings From A Snowy Purgatory!

Well, here I am at blue mountain. As usual.
Every year, we ship off to Blue Mountain with all our ski/snowboard equipment, enough food to sustain all 3 meals, and clothes. As usual, they ski every single waking hour to squeeze as much "fun" as they can from that lift ticket, and the money for the rooms. I am not talking about "we" here, as I don't really want to squeeze as much as humanly possible out of that poor sticker stuck to my jacket, like a static-y sock stuck to a cat.

I
would like some time in those awesome outdoor hot tubs. My "wonderful" friends would rather try and beat each other on my wii as I make weak protests against sitting there watching them. It has been an hour and a half now, and I hear the golf of wii sports being played. That's right, it has come down to golf. of all the sports, that's the one that nobody plays. ever.

Today, however, I broke with tradition, I slept in, ate breakfast, and informed everyone I was not going snowboarding. Not surprisingly, everybody ignored it, and sat down to watch me eat my breakfast in an attempt to peer pressure me into eating faster so that they can get me bundled up in my jackets, pants, and boots to take me snowboarding. I wasn't going to fall for that dirty trick again, and re-informed all present that I was not going snowboarding at all. Interestingly enough, they eventually left. I sat by the window, finished reading Lord of the Flies [which I enjoyed], took a nap, woke up for lunch, and vegged out until my friends returned. All in all, a very pleasant day.

Of course, then the trouble starts. They begin to pester and bother, and for a while, we're pretty content with T.V. But the allure of the wii is just too much, and they begin a fierce match of wii sports (it was wiiplay yesterday.). ust now, one friend was shoved into a sharp corner, and scraped his back. Yes, they are that competitive.

In case anyone is wondering, no, I have not even had time/opportunity to go guy spotting. Not. Even. On. T.V. The stupid children hanging around has hijacked the remote, and set it on Famly Channel 24/7.

p.s I lost the game.
p.p.s I know this post sounds bratty, but my parents ignored my request to quit snowboarding for good, and instead bribed me in with new snowpants and boots. Yes, I love my new snowpants and boots, but I also remember why I wanted to quit now: My friends are jerks on the hills. Ever since breaking my arm, I just don't have the confidence to speed down the double black diamonds completely out of control. So, when they suggest the double black diamond trails, I protest, and cite responsibility and common sense. Of course, it's all thrown out the window, and me being oldest, is forced to follow along to make sure nobody dies. HOWEVER: I draw the line at the Glades. Against all the things I said, jerk friend #1 hopped into the glades, and dork friend #2 was lured in, like a true pre-teen follower. I stick my heels in here, and simply went down on the outer sides of the glades, to make sure that they don't die. Why I don't go? Well: a) I have no helmet b) I don't have the confidence for that c) I know that none of us was good enough to safely go down them as intended d) the weather wasn't the best e) I'm supposed to be responsible, and I know that ski patrol can't extract injured people very well from there.
So really, I swear, i'm not half as bratty as I sound. If my friends grew some common sense,
maybe I'd like snowboarding more.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's a posting Rampage!

Today is the (unofficial) last day of school!
Mostly because no one goes on the actual last day anyways. It's just school custom.
So, today, I send out les presents.
My sack of wonders included:
-Gonorrhea (The microbe plushie, not the STD)
-Rabies (yet to be given)
-A scarf
-A CD+ gift receipt as I suspected (correctly) that she already had the CD
-A White Blood cell (Also the plushie, gone to Jess)
-A stack of pandas
-A box of Toblerone for everyone else.

Received to come later. Maybe.

In anycase My ex-neighbour is visiting from England, and will be coming skiing with me and Ray for the next 4 days.
AS MUCH AS I ENJOY HER COMPANY She drives me insane.
Monopoly: Gloats about how she has no curb to her spending and therefore owns my ass at it, and only plays monopoly to own my ass at it.
Yesterday: Threw stale marshmallows at my head, and apparently, and I am the "host" and she is like, twelve, I don't have the right to kick her ass for doing it. If this continues, I WILL kick her ass, and probably shove some snow down there while I'm at it. >(
Oh, and since she (finally) hit puberty/had a growth spurt, she is like 2 inches taller than me and she like to hold that over my head too (pun not intended). Of course, if anyone paid any attention to genetics, it'd be pretty obvious that she'll be taller than me.
Case and point?
I am going to kill someone if she does not become a better person soon.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

DUN DUN DUNNNN

Shiying is on the loose.
With the discovery of Newmindspace, a world of possibilities have opened up.
The main one: I can accomplish the stuff on my list.

Remember my list?

Also: Revision. Masquerade will now be replaced by the Zombie Walk.

I finished my art!
The word is Smite.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A post, but not a post: The Deep End

STOLEN FROM JESS

1. Put your ipod on shuffle.


2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got the note from


IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY? Gasolina

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Self Esteem (LOL)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Henrietta

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Supersonic

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? It's time to Dance

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Freeway

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Lies :(

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Out of My Head

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Having to let go

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Shameless (LOL)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Dammit, I Changed Again

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Duality

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Guilty Pleasure (haha)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Ambience

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Over the Moon

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Destination Anywhere

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Black Hole

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Clouds Crash

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Alive Again (Zombie?)

HOW WILL YOU DIE? They Tried to Kill Chivalry (But We Brought it Back)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET? Change For Me

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? Nothing Special

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? The Tease

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? Franco- Unamerican

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? For the Girl

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? Bruised

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? Picture Day (Ha!)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? Yours to Keep

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Allison Krausse (LOL)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? The Deep End

Monday, December 15, 2008

Do the Hellen Keller

...And talk with your hips.

S'been a long time since the last blog.
Lets see...
-Went to Drop Everything's show, met some people, had fun
-Went Christmas shopping but cannot post pictures quite yet
-Bought new snow pants and snowboard boots, and will look bitchin' on the hills.
-JIZZ IN MY PANTS*
-Went to a (very sad) party
-Finished my English ILU in clown makeup
-Terrified people with my clown make up

All in all, a pretty fun few weeks. Now I am plotting for an awesome winter break, perhaps.

IN OTHER NEWS:
I've decided, I want to learn Esperanto it's only the coolest language ever. Conceived as an international language, it never really got THAT big, but there are a few hundred native speakers. That's pretty good for a made up language.
I plan to learn Esperanto through the miracle that is the INTERNET!

* Jizz in my pants is amazing. Really, good music AND crazy humour. Plus the fact that it has like 8 million views in a week.